Does anyone else argue with themselves? It's like my head and my heart haven't quite figured out how to agree. I don't know...in my head I know that my life has a purpose. God has a reason for the situations I encounter, the people I meet, the stupid things I do, the regrets I live with, the dreams I have, the family I've been given...He has a reason. Everything is a part of my life, my world for some purpose. I believe that. And though it may be years before I ever see His reasoning behind this time in my life, I know it is there. The problem is moving that belief from my head to my heart. Or maybe its the other way around, but either way a part of me still struggles with that. I am a "little" bit of a control freak :) haha...ok, I AM a control freak. Basically I just like to know what's going on, when it's going on, and how it affects me! Well that part of my personality has a really hard time with this whole trust issue. I always try and take it back, I feel like its up to me to worry about what happens in my life. But yet at the same time I love that I'm not in charge! I don't want to be the one responsible for figuring out my life. I know that my life will have much more of an impact when I trust God to take care of me and lead me. If it was all up to me, I would most definitely screw it up!
I guess today I'm just praying for patience.
That God will be patient with me as I work to fully and completely release the control I want to have on my life.
That the people I love will be patient with me as I make mistakes, and let them down.
That I will be patient with myself, as I struggle.
That I will patiently (and peacefully) wait for God to reveal His plan, in His time.