Tuesday, April 28, 2009

More than 24 hours in a day?! Please!

It doesn't seem to matter what's going on, how much I have happening...it always seems to be crazy! Does it ever slow down? Its one thing after another after another...there is no end in sight! Is it normal for life to feel like it will never slow down? To continually wonder when there will be time to get caught up...when there will be time to sleep. I always thought once I finished school life wouldn't be so crazy, I wouldn't be so tired. But now that I've had 4 months with only a job (and a side job) I still don't feel like I have any more time then I did before...or that I have time to catch up! Its one thing after another...does it ever stop?

Thursday, April 16, 2009


It frustrates me so much that there are so many people in this world that expect everyone to be the same...oh but yet they claim "we're all unique, each of you is your own person" and then minutes later turn around and treat them as if they are all just like them. Just because your an extrovert and love to be loud an obnoxious, doesn't mean that we're all like that.
I understand that there are processes, procedures and what not, that need to be followed when there is a group activity taking place. However, I also know...you might want to sit down for this...there are those teens that would rather not participate! I know its hard to believe, but some people would rather sit in a dark corner all alone, then out in the open with the rest of the world. You might say I'm dark and twisty, I don't know, but I don't see anything wrong with that. There are MANY times when I would give anything for a dark corner all to myself, and just as often I CHOOSE to stay home alone rather then go out with a group. It's just who I am. And that's okay. So forgive me if I'm wrong, but I think it is okay for the kid at youth group to sit in the corner alone, rather then participate. Sometimes us introverts just need that. I'm not saying its okay if it happens every week. But I am saying, don't treat them like outcasts. Don't treat them like they are in the wrong, like they've done some horrible thing by removing themselves from the group. Treat them like the adult they are becoming. Sure, make sure they're okay. But when they say they're FINE, take they're word for it. Don't belittle them and force them to do something they don't want. Let me tell you, that is not going to solve the problem. If there is even a problem in the first place...maybe forcing them to participate gives them a problem.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

The past

It's Saturday afternoon...I'm sitting in a coffee shop watching one of my favorite shows online...and all I can think about is all these people passing by. Everyone is going somewhere, doing something, meeting someone and what am I? The world around me is moving, speeding by, time is going so fast...and me? what am I doing? How am I passing the time? There are so many things in life that are uncontrollable, but I have control over this...yet how am I using it? What of this will I remember for the rest of my life? How am I making an impact? On myself, on others, on the world? Everyone around me is getting ready to embark on their future...to move from this place and discover what time will hold. I want to know that these last four years of my life were working towards something more than a degree. I want my life to mean more than that. I want to remember all the fun I had, all the people I loved, all the experiences I had. And yet I can't even remember much of it now, how am I going to look back on it the rest of my life? There have been so many people in the last 4 years that have impacted my life in so many ways, and yet the ones that are no longer around...I seem to forget. I can't remember why they were important in my life, I can't remember the fun we used to have, or why it is that I don't talk to them anymore. I hate that. I hate that someone who once meant so much to me is now just a part of my past. I'm afraid, I'm afraid its going to happen all over again. Life changes, we move on, we make new friends...I get that. But can't it be a great memory? A reunion to look forward to? Why must it simply become part of the far off past...I want to be better...I do not want these people to become a part of my past. I want them to be a part of my present and my future. But I can already feel them slipping away....