The past...

I don't have much to say, it's weird....one of those days where I really want to write, but everytime I sit down to start, I have nothing to say. I guess the weird part is that I want to write...that normally only happens when I already know what I want to write :)
I'm almost done with my first week back at work...the alarm clock is my worst enemy right now. I got way too used to just waking up, instead of being forced out of bed ;)
My friend Erika's 21st Birthday is tonight and her husband is having a party for her, so that should be fun! I love that I have friends where I can go to their house on a 21st bday, and not have to worry about how out of hand everyone will get. It's nice to know.
This morning I found out some horrible news about one of my friends from high school. My junior and senior year of high school I didn't spend much time with girls, instead I spent my summers and weekends dirt biking, camping, climbing trees and just hanging out...with the guys. Matt, Boden & Andy. These guys were best friends and for some reason they let me tag along on all their adventures. Well Boden & Matt went to WSU for college, and this summer they took jobs at a cattle ranch in Wyoming. I guess Matt really got into the rodeo side, and started bull riding. Well last week he was on a bull and was knocked out while riding and then after he fell the bull attacked him. I guess is what you would call it...his horns went right into Matt's head. Boden said he could see Matt's skull! The gash/cut/wound, whatever you want to call it, is over 5" long and Matt was flown to a hospital for emergency surgery. He is currently still in the hospital, but his family is in Wyoming with him now and he has been moved from ICU.
The doctor's keep telling Boden that it is a miracle Matt is even alive! Yet, Matt is not only alive, he is talking and even got up and walked a little. He remembers who he is, where he is, why he's there...everything. It is amazing and Boden says he is watching this miracle right in front of him. I think in some ways I'm glad I didn't hear about it before today, it was good to get the news "Pray for Matt, he's really hurt" rather than "Pray for Matt's family, he's not gonna make it". He can't leave the hospital yet, because of the chance of infection from being drug through the dirt once his brain was exposed...but they hope he can go home this weekend.
It makes me think about that time in my life, back when Matt & Boden were my best friends. Back when life was simpler, we went to school and worked a few hours a week...and that was it. We didn't have any responsibility, didn't have to worry about where food or rent were going to come from...we had time to spend hours dirt biking in the hills...driving around laughing, watching movies late at night (because we didn't have to get up for work!), climbing in treehouses made for their little brothers, jumping on the tramp, hanging out at Young Life...we lived. We had so much fun, and if we worried about things it was like where we would go to college, or what we would do...little things, things that dont matter near as much.
Now here we are 3 years since graduation and Matt is fighting for his life. I think the most comforting part is that Boden's there. 3 years later, Boden is still right by his side. But where am I? I haven't talked to Matt or Boden in over a year...I haven't seen either of them in probably two years. I don't even know if the cell #'s I have for them are any good. I feel like a horrible friend. Yeah, I moved more than 400 miles away...and I only go home like twice a year...but still, their always only a phone call away. Why do relationships change? So quickly? So much? I hate that I have so many friends from high school that I wouldn't even know how to have a conversation with now...I understand that life changes, we change...and most of the time I'm okay with that. But right now. I just want my friends back, I want Matt & Boden to know that even though we may not keep in touch very well, I still care about them. I would love to go back to those times when I spent my free time with them. Back when I just felt like "one of the guys"