More than 24 hours in a day?! Please!

It doesn't seem to matter what's going on, how much I have happening...it always seems to be crazy! Does it ever slow down? Its one thing after another after another...there is no end in sight! Is it normal for life to feel like it will never slow down? To continually wonder when there will be time to get caught up...when there will be time to sleep. I always thought once I finished school life wouldn't be so crazy, I wouldn't be so tired. But now that I've had 4 months with only a job (and a side job) I still don't feel like I have any more time then I did before...or that I have time to catch up! Its one thing after another...does it ever stop?

loner

It frustrates me so much that there are so many people in this world that expect everyone to be the same...oh but yet they claim "we're all unique, each of you is your own person" and then minutes later turn around and treat them as if they are all just like them. Just because your an extrovert and love to be loud an obnoxious, doesn't mean that we're all like that.
I understand that there are processes, procedures and what not, that need to be followed when there is a group activity taking place. However, I also know...you might want to sit down for this...there are those teens that would rather not participate! I know its hard to believe, but some people would rather sit in a dark corner all alone, then out in the open with the rest of the world. You might say I'm dark and twisty, I don't know, but I don't see anything wrong with that. There are MANY times when I would give anything for a dark corner all to myself, and just as often I CHOOSE to stay home alone rather then go out with a group. It's just who I am. And that's okay. So forgive me if I'm wrong, but I think it is okay for the kid at youth group to sit in the corner alone, rather then participate. Sometimes us introverts just need that. I'm not saying its okay if it happens every week. But I am saying, don't treat them like outcasts. Don't treat them like they are in the wrong, like they've done some horrible thing by removing themselves from the group. Treat them like the adult they are becoming. Sure, make sure they're okay. But when they say they're FINE, take they're word for it. Don't belittle them and force them to do something they don't want. Let me tell you, that is not going to solve the problem. If there is even a problem in the first place...maybe forcing them to participate gives them a problem.

The past

It's Saturday afternoon...I'm sitting in a coffee shop watching one of my favorite shows online...and all I can think about is all these people passing by. Everyone is going somewhere, doing something, meeting someone and what am I? The world around me is moving, speeding by, time is going so fast...and me? what am I doing? How am I passing the time? There are so many things in life that are uncontrollable, but I have control over this...yet how am I using it? What of this will I remember for the rest of my life? How am I making an impact? On myself, on others, on the world? Everyone around me is getting ready to embark on their future...to move from this place and discover what time will hold. I want to know that these last four years of my life were working towards something more than a degree. I want my life to mean more than that. I want to remember all the fun I had, all the people I loved, all the experiences I had. And yet I can't even remember much of it now, how am I going to look back on it the rest of my life? There have been so many people in the last 4 years that have impacted my life in so many ways, and yet the ones that are no longer around...I seem to forget. I can't remember why they were important in my life, I can't remember the fun we used to have, or why it is that I don't talk to them anymore. I hate that. I hate that someone who once meant so much to me is now just a part of my past. I'm afraid, I'm afraid its going to happen all over again. Life changes, we move on, we make new friends...I get that. But can't it be a great memory? A reunion to look forward to? Why must it simply become part of the far off past...I want to be better...I do not want these people to become a part of my past. I want them to be a part of my present and my future. But I can already feel them slipping away....

One week!

I received the keys to my house one week ago today! It has been quite an eventful week! So much fun! My friends all came over Friday night and we got the entire downstairs painted! Saturday my family all helped me move and Sunday we did lots of little things around the house, like hanging blinds, etc. Monday & Tuesday I spent the entire day in bed, sick! And I do mean entire day...I did not leave my bed at all between 11pm Sunday night and 6:45am Tuesday morning. I started getting sick Thursday, and I think trying to do a lot this weekend, while being sick just made it that much worse! I was so weak, it was awful! I am still pretty sick, but have at least worked the last 3 days :) As long as it stays at this 'cold' stage I'm okay....I'm hoping the 'flu' part is gone for good! But despite the oh so fun illness amidst everything else, this week has been so much fun! And I love my new house! It has been nice to have an entire week there all by myself...and I never would have guessed how nice it would be to have my own bathroom! haha. And one connected to my room...ah, it's amazing! I love it! I will have to take some pictures of the house, now that its more then white walls and empty floors! That is once I find my camera!! That is still one important thing that I haven't found in a box yet...hmmm...where could I have put it! Well better find it quick...
Tomorrow morning Stephanie, Jessie & I get on a plane to California! Will definitely need my camera for that!!

Changes

Well this last weekend I spent the 3 days in Donnelly with our church youth group. I've been wanting to get involved, now that I'm done with school...and have actually known the youth pastor since I myself was a teen in youth group. He pastored at a church about an hour from mine and since both of our youth groups were fairly small we would do stuff together frequently. I was also really good friends with quite a few of the teens in his youth group, so my sister and I would visit on the weekends or for special occasions a lot of our high school career. Its fun to go to a BIG church in Nampa, where I quite literally know a handful of people....and yet have that one connection. It makes me feel like I do know people in my church and that I can relate to someone there :) But anyways...because of my relationship with him, it was easy for me to tell him that I wanted to help out, making it much easier to get involved then if I didn't know the youth pastor. (Because if you know me at all, you know I'm an introvert...and reaching out to people I don't know is nearly impossible!) haha. Speaking of introvert...one of the things we did this weekend was take personality tests, to show the kids that they aren't abnormal, but that everyone has those weird quirks about them. But it was fun to see the huge difference between extroverts and introverts....you can definitely pick them out in a crowd!
Well the weekend was a blast, seriously, so much fun! I felt like I was at winter retreat again! It was great to get to know some of the kids and actually meet a lot of people my own age (there helping out as well)...it was a packed weekend, and I am still recovering...but I am so glad I was able to go! Going up I pretty much only knew the youth pastor, his wife and then of course James, who plays guitar for the youth band so was going up for the weekend! Which actually helped me feel better about going :) Surprise, Surprise...I do not like to go into uncharted territory without at least one friendly face! But I came home with many new friends, and energized from the kids, and a peace after seeing new pieces of myself and my friends.
I went to youth group last night, for the first time...and it was awesome to walk in and know people! haha. I am horrible at meeting new people, or at least not good at going and being the one to start the conversation...so I don't feel like I am really comfortable or suited for going in each week and trying to introduce myself to people...but I hope that it will happen over time, and in the process I will learn something and force myself out of my shell a little more :)
So that officially started my month of craziness...however, I have been given a slight reprieve, an unwanted one mind you, but a reprieve none the less. I was supposed to close on my house today...and that is not going to happen. The underwriters are so far behind were hoping we'll make next Friday! Which is not good, considering my family is traveling 450 miles to help me move! But they were able to rearrange their schedule to come next weekend, so as long as we close by the 13th we'll still be okay! It's if it gets later then that that things get really scary!
I do not do well with this up in the air sort of planning! I want to have a date, and stick to it! I had to call and reschedule my fridge and mattress delivery and have to rethink the whole painting situation since my mom will no longer be coming the weekend after I move in...and I myself will be in California for 4 days the week after I move, that is if I move next weekend! Uggh...I need structure. I like having my life planned and in order. This is not working for the left side of my brain! However, the other pieces of my personality, the parts that seek to enjoy every moment and appreciate the opportunity to learn and grow are doing okay with it :) And as with anything in life...when God closes a door, he opens a window...I may not be moving this weekend, but instead I get to spend it with one of my favorite relatives! If I was moving, I would not have the time to spend any quality time with him, but now, my schedule is wide open!
Kieth called Sunday...and he's coming to stay with me this weekend, to show his boys the State Basketball Tournament! They made it to state last year and played, but never won a game so didn't see the championships or anything...well this year his team didn't make it, but he'd like to bring the Juniors down to see what its all about...hopefully next year they will be more excited about making it!! So my weekend will likely involve lots of basketball games! And if nothing else him and his players sleeping at my house!! :)
Tonight is the opening performance for Godspell, the NNU spring musical. My cousin Hilary has one of 10 roles...yes it is a 10 person cast! So all my Boise family is attending tonight...should be a good time!

3 more days...and then life gets REALLY crazy!

Only 3 more days of February. Wow, where has it gone? In my work mind that means we are almost to the end of 1st Quarter, how is that possible! I just finished filing year end taxes, now I have to get ready to do it all over again? Please no! And someone convince Obama that changing every tax form in the history of business is NOT a great idea! No matter how much it means in my pocket everyweek! Oh right, an average of $13, which for me will mean about $6 I'm sure...then you take taxes out of that...and nope, sorry I'd rather keep the old tax forms and be done with it! Please!

But really the end of February means the beginning of one of the craziest months of my life, I am sure! Friday afternoon I leave at 3 for Donnelly to be a cabin leader at our church's youth winter retreat! Should be fun, but above all exhausting! I know I will come back living on very few hours of sleep...its only 2 nights right? How much sleep could I lose? :)
Then next weekend, my dad, sister and brother come to visit! WooHoo! Or I should say they come to move me...lucky them! Yes, that's right they're driving 450 miles to work all weekend. Gotta love family! I'm so excited they are all coming, its going to be so much fun but the moving and shopping will for sure make for another crazy weekend!! I ordered my new mattress and refrigerator this week so that we will have both of those things at the new house for the weekend they are here...I suppose they will want to eat at some point :)
Then if that isn't enough, the next weekend my mom comes! We are going to paint and unpack and everything in my new house! Unfortunately for her she couldn't come the weekend before with the rest of the family, but lucky for me I get to spend two weekends with my family! She's coming Thursday so I'm going to take Friday off work to spend more time with her! Another fun weekend!
And, no wait, that's not all...the next weekend, Jessie, Stephanie & I leave for California for Spring Break! Which will be awesome! We are going to Elk Grove (Sacramento area), where Jessie is from to spend time in her town :) They're going for the whole week but I come back Tuesday night to go back to work! We have lots of fun things planned for those four days! Of course! :) Sunday night we are going to Forever Plaid, a musical at some cool place in Sacramento!? Don't really know...but it sounds exciting!
And then the month will have flown by! I will finally get a weekend at home...with nothing going on...wonder if I will just sleep away that last Saturday of March?! Welcome April! Time moves so fast, I wish there was a way I could simply stop it for awhile...to savor these last 2 months of (semi) college life...

Without it...

There is no where else I'd rather be. Then right here, in Idaho, with my six best friends. I am so blessed to have met these girls at NNU. I have spent the last four years sharing everything with them. I can't imagine my life without them and certainly wouldn't trade these experiences for anything. Soon it will all be a memory...
It is quickly coming to an end. I don't like to think about what's going to happen come May 11th. It is unknown, scary, but most certainly means saying good bye.
May 10th we will all be up early, getting ready to dawn the monumental black cap and gown. However, before we make our way to the Idaho Center to spend the next five hours in folding chairs on the floor, surrounded by everyone we love, celebrating our accomplishments. We will do the one thing that we always make time for, no matter what else is going on...or what we are going through. There has always been time for coffee. We spend the majority of our time with some type of coffee. When we're happy and need to celebrate, when we're sad and need to mope, when we need to talk or just when we're hanging out...coffee has always been there.
I don't know how I will handle this next chapter of life, without it.